So you think you can dance? Pfft… please.

This is not possible:

….but be grateful for small mercies, at least you don’t dance like this:


Oh wait… that’s right, you do.

It’s Friday night, everyone’s hitting the parties and the clubs so this post is perfectly timed. You may recognise the above two moves as some you demonstrate tonight. Television has accepted that humanity is doomed to complete and utter embarrassment with regards to dancing. Luckily for you, I’m here to help. I’m not here to mock you because you dance like a complete fool . 

Women. There will be no Beyoncé Single Ladies dancing – this leads to us being single.

Men. This is what you think you look like:

I hate to break it to you, but this is what you really look like:

Try dancing in the mirror until you start dancing well. Fewer big movements and move your hips a little. If you start to look like Carlton from The Fresh Prince of Bel Air then stop and do the opposite.

Enjoy your Friday night.

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